for christ's sake

i've been trying to blog for a coupel weeks but i kept forgetting my password or username to this newfangled google-owned blogger. after a couple tries, i would just give up. i finally remembered it all at one time. so...the news:

my grandmother died two weeks ago. which sucked. so i went to az for the funeral. and while it was sad, of course; it was nice to see a bunch of family i really like. my mom drove me a little crazy and my sister said some typically inane things. for example, when people spoke about my grandmother at the funeral, she got up and tearfully spoke about how my grandmother was great because she didn't spoil us and went on to say that some of her friends had grandparents who gave them two or three hundred dollars but ours weren't like that, blah blah. it came off sounding odd (and like my grandparents were cheap), but that's my girl...other than that, it was ok.

so we got back monday night. wednesday morning, i got out of the shower to a message from my psuedo-father-in-law saying babydaddy's grandpa had died. so off we went to another funeral saturday. this time around was very formal. but again, more family time with lots of love and good food. p.s. episcopalians give depressing sermons that seem to be steeped in guilt. wierd. i bought a new dress and looked good. it was the least i could do. is it wrong to joke about stuff in regard to a funeral?

so, on a brighter note....i won teacher of the year. which really doesn't amount to anything material, other than maybe a plaque. but all week long, kids have been saying, "miss, you're the teacher of the year!" and "miss, you win!" which is freakin' cute.

not a goddamn thing on the man front. oh, except 3 weeks ago, el toxico called me out of the blue. to "thank" me for referring him to my dentist because as a result of treatments from our dentist, his gum disease is no longer worsening. or something like that. and he's getting his teeth back in working order. and apparently i deserve thanks for this. oh, and he hasn't smoked since he quit in september. and he made a couple references to his now ex-girlfriend. which is only funny because he never actually told me they were a couple (we had 86'd each other before he got around to divulging that top-secret info). so whatever. he called, we chatted, we said goodbye. and i haven't heard from him nor have i called him. i feel two ways about the whole deal. one, he's an tool and i don't need him in my life. two, i don't need him around as long as i wish he was around. does that make sense? still no waterloo. and speaking of waterloo, i had all the std tests you can run done and apparently he's not diseased (nor i). whew. el maestro and i still chit chat and do the occasional happy hour. i forgot what it feels like to be loved, i think. but at least i'm not getting fucked over. how's that for optimism?

the end, for now.