Dating Rules 101 (specific to me)

I don't think I'm that picky...well, maybe a little. I just have a few preferences, right? But seriously, people need to be trained. Here are my rules:

1. Don't text while we're hanging out. If you have to, you should say something about it...don't just look down and stop the conversation. But really, your phone should stay in your pocket.
2. Don't spit while we're together. You can wait. Seriously.
3. You should never use the word cunt. In fact, you should follow my example of how to refer to women. If I say bitch, MAYBE you can say it. But not really.
4. It's your job to keep the conversation rolling. Not for any reason. It just is. Unless I decide to, in which case you should follow my lead.
5. If I go to where you work to see you, you need to come talk to me. Don't be shy. I came there for you. So pay attention to me. And don't leave me stuck with your dumbass friend.
5. Thanks for opening the door for me. That's nice.
6. Also, I like the walking me to my car. Keep doing that.
7. You should compliment me. In a sincere way. It'll get you mad brownie points, yo.
8. You should not frequently refer to your drug use, excessive drinking, or love of women. I don't need to know. It's better if I don't.
9. Make lots of eye contact. That's good.
10. Never, under any circumstance, look at other women while we're hanging out. It's just not necessary. They'll be around later, I promise.

That's a start...I'll think of some more.